Mash Made In Heaven

Ingredients

(serves two)

• 14 bits of a well-connected actor
• 13 g of a tool for flattery
• 20 stalks of incremented bee hives?
• 20 oz of something corny
• 1 pint of half of half and half
• 20 g long walk on the beach
• 18 things in a risky basket
• 25 oz of vampire repellent
• 4 slices of Fred's dancing partner
• 9 oz of a flying Pokemon's staff
• 8 g of things life gives you
• 15 oz of calcium compound
• 13 tbsp of utterly misheard liquid?
• 5 of a thing to make you cry
• 4 tsp of gamer rage
• 5 lbs of those rooted on the couch (informally)
• 1 tbsp of the sound of complaint?

Instructions

• Take some _____ and make it come true. Whip for 13 seconds.
• Add some granular _____ from an estuary. Mix for 14 seconds.
• Add turmeric and _____, sticking around for 13 seconds until you can smell the aromatics.
• Chop some fresh _____ for 6 seconds, then toss into the mix to spice it up.
• Squeeze some _____ and let it sit for 8 minutes to make it good as hell.
• Mince some _____ to impress your Scottish friends. Cook in a pan on medium-low for 23 minutes.
• Now coat the pan in _____ as if you were deep frying. Brown for 10 minutes before adding the rest of the mixture. Let simmer.
• Time for the stars of the dish - _____! Boil in a big pot for 3 hours, and then drain.
• Pour half of the pan mixture into the pot and set the rest aside. Add a French or English _____ to the ensemble, and cook on low for another 6 minutes.
• Your pot will start smelling good at the drop of a _____, just give it 2 minutes to steam away.
• Take some _____ and praise them to make them larger. Whisk into the pot for 5 minutes.
• Your _____ will make you happy for years to come. Caramelize on high in a second pan; this should take no time.
• Pour some _____ straight from the worm into this pan. Simmer on low for about 9 minutes.
• A splash of _____ will make things aromatic (no oak, please). You can keep the cone for when you’re yearning over this dish later. Reduce another 8 minutes.
• Combine everything from both pans into the pot and stir for 2 minutes. Now for a secret ingredient! Slip in a _____ if you want everyone to know how to make this delicious dish.
• Add the _____ for some richness. Good lord, don't be stingy here! Spend 2 minutes spreading evenly.
• Best for last - top it off with a special _____! Finding one that speaks to your soul could take 16 years or more, but it's worth it for this dish to truly come together.